Chicken Crust Pizza

Have you ever wanted to make your own pizza at home, but lack the spatial abilities to tie your own shoes without a helmet and special goggles? Then you just came to the right place, friend. This thing is so fucking easy, a chimp with Down's syndrome could make it. That means you'll probably have a rough time on the first 3 or 4 tries, but fuck it. No pain, no gain.

Also, bonus kitchen cred for making pizza with chicken for a crust.

Preheat your oven to 180°C/275°F

Start with 4 chicken breasts (about 24 oz), cut into large chunks, and process them with 8 oz of grated mozzarella cheese, a teaspoon of italian spices, pepper and garlic salt. You need to run this bitch on high for a few minutes, stopping ocasionally to scrape down the sides, until you get a smotth, emulsified paste.

Now get yourself a 12'' oven proof skillet and coat it generously with olive oil. Dump the chicken mixture in the pan, then smooth it out with a cold wet spoon. Set it on the stove on high, undisturbed, for 5 minutes.

While the crust browns, make the sauce. Mix a can of tomato paste, 2 Tbsps of jarred pesto, a dash of sriracha, salt and pepper in a bowl, then spread it on the chicken crust.

Sprinkle 8 more ounces of chicken on top and some salami, then some parmesan. Now bake for 15 minutes.

And that's fucking it!

Chicken Crust Pizza

Serves 8

4 chicken breasts, cubed

16 oz mozzarella cheese, grated

2 Tbsps grated parmesan cheese

1 tsp italian spices

Garlic salt and pepper

1 small can tomato paste

2 Tbsps pesto

dash of sriracha

10 slices of salami

Olive oil

1. Place the chicken, half the cheese, and the spices in a food processor with some garlic salt and pepper, and beat the shit out of them to make a dough
2. Spread said dough on a 12'' oven-proof skillet coated with olive oil and brown for 5 minutes.
3. Mix all the other shit, except for the salami, and spread on top.
4. Sprinkle with cheese, salami and parmesan. Now bake at 180°C/275°F for 15 minutes.
5. Have a beer, you glorious motherfucker. You deserve it.
6. Profit.

Nutritional info, per serving: 394 cal, 8g carbs, 24g fat, 28g protein, 537mg sodium